Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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