She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
