He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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