I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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