I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
