i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
