You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
