remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize