if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
