White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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