Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
