I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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