every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
