At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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