guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
