I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
