She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
