Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
