I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he puts the penis in happiness.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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