Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
