is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
