I wish life had little blips of pornography
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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