he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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