the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
