I wanna bring you to show and tell
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize