i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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