his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
