Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
