Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
