Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
is wine microwaveable?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
