Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
