final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
