I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
