She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
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