just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
