i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
do herpes really smell.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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