Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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