Quick, to the slutcave!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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