Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
