so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
