If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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