I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
