I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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