Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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