they need to just BURY HIM!
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
