Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
