3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
