69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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