I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
