This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
