please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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