yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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