its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The power of my boobs compel you
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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