I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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