My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
