New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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