I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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