He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
