im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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